So my biopsy was on Thursday. I had my own room on the cardiac floor.. which was weird. My mom and my uncle went with me and kept me company. They had to poke me in both arms, one for a lab test and the other for a stupid IV. I bled all over the place from the IV. Lovely.
After an hour of waiting they took me down to the radiology area and they explained the procedure. I was happy to see that the CT scan wasn't as coffin-ish as the MRI had been. They had me on my stomach with my head to one side and my arms above my head and put me into the scanner feet first and took a bunch of pictures, then they drew a grid on my back with some sort of special paste and then would come in and make marks on my back with permanent marker, finally it was time to start so they injected a sedative and the nurse held my hand as the doctor poked a super long needle into my back. Of course he hadn't numbed it deep enough and I felt it go into the tumor. I was very glad the nurse was holding my hand. A few more scans and then he took a piece of tissue out and it was over. I was pretty sleepy afterwards and got a terrible headache, which turned out to be from lack of caffeine and a rebound headache from the sedatives. I only had to stay a few more hours and then got to come home.
Ibuprofen and ice for the last few days, and now I feel pretty much normal again. I hate the fact that that sample of tissue is in a lab somewhere and someone knows or might know by now if I have cancer or not. Just waiting to hear the results is torture. I am hoping that they will just give me the answer over the phone, and not make me wait for an appointment. I have prepared myself and I can take it over the phone.
Mark has this week off! Yay! He's getting "fixed" tomorrow. It was a hard decision but we have four kids between the two of us, and as much as I want another baby, I know they grow up to be kids and kids are a lot of work. Plus it will be fun to be able to go camping and do big kid stuff with the kids we have already. Maybe we can even take some road trips and start taking the kids out more. Things you can't easily do with a baby.
Also, we will be buying a house (Kids having their own rooms!!! YARD!!!) and getting a dog and I can cuddle with a dog. :)
And getting married. Thinking Vegas now. Will be quick and easy, since they don't do court house weddings around here. He says it will happen no matter if I have cancer or not. I love that man.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
My back.
So, get ready for a long story.
At the beginning of December I started having back pains on my way home from school. Was so bad I had to stop halfway and get out and walk before I could get back in the car. When I got home Mark looked up Sciatica and I had all the symptoms. (Pain in my lower back/left leg and constant rectal pressure TMI sorry). I laid around on the couch for a few days, and then finally after Mark pestering me for a while I went to the doctor. He ordered a back X-ray and said it looked fine, and this was probably just sciatica and it would get better in a few weeks, but if it got worse I needed to call back. So a few days later my left foot wasn't working anymore, it wouldn't come off of the floor when I was walking, so I called the doctor back and he scheduled me for an MRI. The MRI was quite the experience... loud and scary- like being in a coffin. Glad it was over. Went to my followup appointment a few days later expecting to hear that they found a bulging disc or nothing and it would get better on it's own. Instead the doctor told me they found a mass in a muscle in my back. It's about 3cm's and is located inside a muscle in my lower left back, i forgot the name of the muscle it's a long one. It was very scary news and the worst it could be is Cancer... the best is it's just some sort of scar tissue or fatty tumor. I spent a lot of hours crying about this and being scared about having cancer. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave my kids and I don't want to have to go through chemo. No one does though and if this turns out to be cancer then I will fight with everything I have.
I still don't know what it is yet. I have an appointment with a surgeon on Tuesday and he will discuss the surgery options and biopsy options. I don't really care how they get it out, I just want to know that it is!
In the mean time I am stuck on the couch, unable to do much of anything. Unable to take care of my kids, unable to walk around without a lot of pain. Mark and my mom have been taking care of everything for me. Mark with the kids, Mom with the cleaning. I'm really getting tired of telling the kids that I can't do something they want to do. :(
I want to know what I'm facing. I know we are all going to die, I just want to know if I can go back to planning a future, go back to school, or gear up for a long battle, chemo treatments, radiation and surgery.
I took this quarter off from school because I can't walk very well and since I don't know what my surgery or treatment will be like, I didn't want to enroll and then have to quit and pay for the quarter anyway. Would like to go back in April.
At the beginning of December I started having back pains on my way home from school. Was so bad I had to stop halfway and get out and walk before I could get back in the car. When I got home Mark looked up Sciatica and I had all the symptoms. (Pain in my lower back/left leg and constant rectal pressure TMI sorry). I laid around on the couch for a few days, and then finally after Mark pestering me for a while I went to the doctor. He ordered a back X-ray and said it looked fine, and this was probably just sciatica and it would get better in a few weeks, but if it got worse I needed to call back. So a few days later my left foot wasn't working anymore, it wouldn't come off of the floor when I was walking, so I called the doctor back and he scheduled me for an MRI. The MRI was quite the experience... loud and scary- like being in a coffin. Glad it was over. Went to my followup appointment a few days later expecting to hear that they found a bulging disc or nothing and it would get better on it's own. Instead the doctor told me they found a mass in a muscle in my back. It's about 3cm's and is located inside a muscle in my lower left back, i forgot the name of the muscle it's a long one. It was very scary news and the worst it could be is Cancer... the best is it's just some sort of scar tissue or fatty tumor. I spent a lot of hours crying about this and being scared about having cancer. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave my kids and I don't want to have to go through chemo. No one does though and if this turns out to be cancer then I will fight with everything I have.
I still don't know what it is yet. I have an appointment with a surgeon on Tuesday and he will discuss the surgery options and biopsy options. I don't really care how they get it out, I just want to know that it is!
In the mean time I am stuck on the couch, unable to do much of anything. Unable to take care of my kids, unable to walk around without a lot of pain. Mark and my mom have been taking care of everything for me. Mark with the kids, Mom with the cleaning. I'm really getting tired of telling the kids that I can't do something they want to do. :(
I want to know what I'm facing. I know we are all going to die, I just want to know if I can go back to planning a future, go back to school, or gear up for a long battle, chemo treatments, radiation and surgery.
I took this quarter off from school because I can't walk very well and since I don't know what my surgery or treatment will be like, I didn't want to enroll and then have to quit and pay for the quarter anyway. Would like to go back in April.
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